Get Your Head In The Game! (Chartering Speech) by Shawn S.

It's not actually called that. I just wanted to use a song title from 'High School Musical.' But we're getting to that point where grades are a big importance, where we're partying a lot more, where all this drinking and events and fraternity rivalries and everything can really prove to be strong distractions to what is really important.

Each and every guy needs to constantly be asking themselves if what they're doing is what they truly want. When I go out and drink until 3 a.m., I'm doing it while fully aware that it is a base distraction, one that won't bring me happiness but allows me to let go of the severity I bring to every other facet of my life. I thought I'd post my chartering banquet speech (thanks Eric), as a reminder that happiness only comes through self-actualization and that SigEp is here to truly facilitate the attainment of that reality.

Quote:

Chartering Banquet Speech
Shawn S.
13 April 2007

When I joined this chapter, I was very much an immature kid. I had precious little college experience even as I became a chapter officer. It was strenuous, especially for me. I had a list of names and phone numbers at my disposal of people I had never met, guys who I would now refer to as my brothers. It was meeting after meeting, school work, and intramurals; almost a soccer mom-esque existence. And it was mostly consistent with the Balanced Man Ideal of Sound Mind and Sound Body. But it also exposed me to a new world of experiences with a whole new group of people in the Greek Community. From hanging out with Sorority women,the drama with other fraternities, to getting caught up in the social scene, many times at my own house (sorry Mom and Dad), I ultimately felt like I was just following the crowd.

And as much as I heard “Sound Mind, Sound Body” and hit the measurables, I appeared to be fine and nobody knew the better, but in reality, I was unhappy with myself because I was confused. If I was having such a good time, why did I feel like a hypocrite?

I look back on those days and know that I figured it out. The basic structure of this fraternity isn’t everything. It comes from the collective belief in self-improvement, in introspection. And it’s not the fraternity’s job to make sure we follow that path. It’s our own. It can only show usthe right way, it can’t force us to take it. And it allows us to learn from failure as much as success. We can’t outsource responsibility; we can only embrace it.

Without this fraternity, I wouldn’t have been exposed to that haphazard and reckless lifestyle. But without the experience, I couldn’t have learned from it. And without my brothers, I wouldn’t have been able to return from it.

Sigma Phi Epsilon saved me. It woke me up. By being a member of this fraternity, I didn’t just sign up for a brotherhood or social outlet. I joined an obstacle course, but it was one I didn’t have to face alone. I was surrounded by people who challenged me and weren’t afraid to tell me I was wrong. I wasn’t friends with mediocre guys; I was brothers with the best.

But our structure only fostered the foundation. I found that it is our responsibility to build upon it.

There is one thing you can’t learn from any book. There’s one thing a professor or mentor can’t teach you. SigEp did not make me into the Balanced Man that I am today. I did that. But I couldn’t have made it without an environment that encouraged me to grow and improve under both the direst of conditions and the best of times.

Today, we’ve reached a milestone, but it’s hardly enough. I want each of my brothers to thankthe alumni that helped us along, to thank the friends and girlfriends and family that supported your involvement. Especially if they paid your dues. But don’t forget to thank yourself. Thank yourself for making one of the greatest decisions of your lives. And thank the brother next to you for making it just that.

This fraternity was not built by image. It wasn’t built on parties or even good grades. It was built by men who looked in the mirror and said, “This isn’t enough.” It was built by brothers who wouldn’t let each other forget that.

We’re chartering today. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time. And I say, “This isn’t enough.” We’ve got a lot more work to do and I’ll be there to help you do it. Thank you.

No. I'm opening the door, and paying for dinner. By Matios Berhe

For any one, don't be sexist.

Sometimes, when I'm not over compensating for my insecurities while doing 4,080 consecutive push-ups butt naked on a surf-board in the middle of a lake with a dragon-slayer sword and a glass of wine balanced on my nose, I like to open doors for people.

It doesn't matter who, if there's a door that needs to be opened, I'll do it. Do I let the fact that they're pressing charges for trespassing affect me? I'm glad you didn't ask, because no. It doesn't.

Of course it gets me in trouble sometimes because it was someone's bedroom door, and I didn't know them, and I was in their house and they wanted to know how and why I was in their house, but they still appreciated the gesture. I was being sincere.

Often times, I will hear my fellow XY Chromosomed homosapiens saying "I don't know if I should open a door for a woman, or offer to pay, or wax her eyebrows for her, because some will appreciate it and some will be offended."

How could that possibly be worked around? These are nice men trying to be sensitive to the fact that women have faced institutional and social constraints on their mobility, so they want to be understanding, while at the same time being the chivalrous man that people think is dead.

What we as human beings need to start doing is: be considerate of others. Opening a door is nice, but if the motive is to prove how gentlemanly one might be, it doesn't matter because it doesn't really mean anything.

Don't just open doors for women. Or pay for their dinners. It plays too much into power-struggles any way. Open doors for every one. Pay for friends' meals. That way you're not just singling out our female counter-parts, and then it's more sincere.

Yes you can take me out to dinner. And pay for it.

What the hell are you going to do after you graduate? By Shawn S.

I know most of you guys don't know. I didn't until a few weeks ago. I knew of the field that I wanted to get into, but finding my way in seemed more than daunting.

So I got a job working with American Apparel corporate, if I haven't already gloated. Next week, I'm meeting with Robert Greene, bestselling author of "The 48 Laws of Power." If you don't know about it, get on it. It's nothing too spectacular, just modern Machiavellian theory, but every fricken' rapper and business mogul swears by the damn thing. It'll help you.

On the other thread about Career Week, which I am emphatically opposed to, I posted this Seth Godin link where he asks the question, "Why bother having a resume?": http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog ... -havi.html . Do yourself a favor and read it. I'll quote the most important parts for you.

Quote:

This is controversial, but here goes: I think if you're remarkable, amazing or just plain spectacular, you probably shouldn't have a resume at all.

... Great people shouldn't have a resume...

Great jobs, world class jobs, jobs people kill for... those jobs don't get filled by people emailing in resumes. Ever.

If you all haven't noticed, I think I'm pretty remarkable, amazing and just plain spectacular. I know my limitations, but I know what I'm good at. And it's not because it was handed to me. What is important is personal responsibility, drive and purpose.

All of these honor societies and things, they're nice to look at on paper. Some people do things purely for their resume. It's not a horrible strategy. But do you really want to have to compete from the pile?

If you want to find out what you want to do with your life, don't think of professions. Think of what you love and just go in that path. Something will turn up. But, most importantly, when you figure out just what that is, don't look to improve your resume's diction or scent it or pick some really fricken' sweet stationery. Really consider why you're making one of those. And remember that building a resume, having the measurables, is less important than being a Balanced Man, being remarkable.

If you're not remarkable, then work towards being just that. Just that and only that.

I immerse myself in blogs and online communities. I was an Internet celebrity for a Star Wars MMORPG. I wrote a short-lived MP3 blog and have high aspirations for one of my own. I am an amazing writer, journalist, conversationalist, and I've got [edit]. I'm pretty fucking spectacular. I never gave my boss my resume. I shook his hand and he told me I was the Magic Man. I gave myself traits, skills that could translate to success in the field I was looking to work. I became a remarkable marketer because I know everything you could possibly know on how to sell an idea. And it wasn't Business 103; it was a lot of work outside of that.

I'd like you to post why you think that you are remarkable for the field they've chosen. And if you're not, say what you need to improve on. Maybe somebody can help you realize that, ask you the introspective questions that will encourage you.

Tack it on your fucking wall:
Be amazing or become amazing. Two choices. Anything less and just get in line.

Fraternity Life with Sigma Phi Epsilon: The Australian Story by Christian Bloecker

I’m the Aussie, the foreign guy at Sigep, the guy with the cool accent that people can’t understand, but most people just call me Christian. I’m an exchange student here at UC Riverside from the University of Western Australia. And for some reason I joined Sigep in the Fall of 2007.

Curiously, the only topic I remember talking about when I first met some of the guys was the quality (or lack thereof) of American beer and what a good beer really was. Well, that and the fact that every second question was either “do people really have pet koalas” or “have you ever seen a kangaroo?” It didn’t really paint the clearest picture as to the intellectual abilities of these guys, because my first thought was ‘are Americans really that stupid?” The second thought was then “well, if they are this stupid, it means I can play games with them”. So I started telling them that a lot of Australians had pet kangaroos in their backyard, and instead of teddy bears every Aussie kid had a koala to cuddle up to. I told stories about the boxing fights with kangaroos and wrestling crocodiles, for some weekend fun, of course. I guess it was the larrikin Australian spirit coming to the fore and the guys were such easy and naïve targets.

Australia doesn’t have the fraternity and sorority system at all, so the only information that Australians have about Greek life has been gained from such masterpieces as Old School and Animal House. I hadn’t actually intended to join a fraternity at all, but I did want to find out about the Greek system and how it functioned here at UC Riverside. I wanted to know if the movies told the truth, because Hollywood would never lie about these things, right? Well, yes and no. I found out quickly that there was some truth to these movies, with some chapters still living along the drinking and partying principle. But, I also very quickly realized that some chapters were very different. Not only were they able to socialize and party but they were able to maintain a high GPA and be successful on the sporting field.

I didn’t know a single person here in Riverside when I arrived, so the first week of class was an interesting experience. I have no doubt I would have survived somehow and met people, but I doubt I would have had as much fun as I have. I met a bunch of guys with similar beliefs and values, guys that knew how to balance school, sports and their social lives (well, most of them) and I now have a group of guys that I will call brothers for life. Even then, this path wasn’t an easy downhill cruise. For one thing, apparently American is spoken over here, not English! I was sadly mistaken in thinking that Americans speak English, as I consistently had to repeat myself because people didn’t understand me. Now, I may be Australian, but I don’t have a thick, true blue, Australian accent. At times, I felt I may as well have been speaking Japanese, going by the blank, questioning looks on people’s faces as I talked to them. It was even worse when on the phone. Apparently the guys didn’t understand a word I said and just said yes, making me think that they understood what I was saying. The guys were kind enough to tell me this many months later. Hopefully this language barrier has now been torn down.

Brotherhood is an interesting concept. Every fraternity claims it has the best brotherhood and I probably didn’t understand what it truly meant till a while after joining Sigep. Some chapters used hazing as a means to creating brotherhood but I learned that you can’t force brotherhood. It only happens by having a similar values and belief system and through shared experiences. It is a powerful idea knowing that if were ever in need of help that every one of my brothers would immediately help out in any way they could, which goes far beyond just friendship. It’s not easy transplanting yourself literally on the other side of the world and there were times when I needed help or advice, which I always received.

So, now, when I get asked how my exchange is going, my answer invariably has something to do with what we as a chapter have been doing. For example, our semi-formal in Vegas. Vegas is one of those once in a lifetime “things to do” in Australia. Not only did I go, but I went with 26 brothers and their partners for a semi-formal. Unheard of in Australia! It’s not just the big things, but very much the small things that have defined my exchange. An afternoon of football, a bbq, a day at the beach or a quiet night in with a couple of the guys – these are the things that have made my time here at UCR as a proud Sigep enjoyable.